Emmys 2020 predictions: Drama underdogs we’re betting on
Emmy Awards Betting Odds, Bet Entertainment Lines
Odds for 08:33 Ipswich Win Only race (21st Jul 2020
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Hello again everyone!! It is awards show season! For those of you who have been following along through the years I thank you for coming back. Huge thanks to the many of you who reached out by DM asking if I was going to do this again this year. It really feels good be able to contribute to this sub because despite our political, social, and economical differences we are all just here to help each other. sportsbook has been adding new members like crazy so if you are new here, Hi, I’m Kyle. I love Award Show props. Here are a few of my previous Golden Globes posts : 2018 5-1 2017 6-1 2016 3-5 2014 4-1 You may notice that I sometimes will take 2 nominees in the same category. These are prop bets so sometimes I will take the favorite and then a dark horse because there is ALWAYS a dark horse winner. ALWAYS. (Looking at you Black Panther). Other times the value for two nominees will be in our favor like +300 and +400. Taking a unit on both is a great way to have two fifths of the nominees in a category with a chance of positive units if either one wins. Also of course, a great way to lose an extra unit if we get hit with a bogey. I do a ton of research, read a ton of blog posts, ‘who will win’ posts, etc. I compile the data into a spreadsheet giving point values to authors and commentators who I find have the best history of picks themselves. It’s not the prettiest spreadsheet and I know these posts are getting more popular year by year so next year I will be sure to include a link to a cleaned up version of my research. I have taken my bets today at 7am PST so the odds above reflect that time. Odds are from BOVADA this year as they had the most props out of the books I use. I bet in $10 units with the exception of Lady Gaga this year. I have $250 on her (part of my Christmas bonus) so she’s going to personally make or break my night but my confidence level on her is 95%. Please follow or fade responsibly. I usually do fairly well but I do this for fun. I am going to be watching the show anyway, why not make it a little interesting right? As always I will be back to live or die by my picks so feel free to head back here Sunday at 5pm PST to see how we do this year. Hopefully we can get a discord session going. Good luck everyone! Best Motion Picture Drama A Star Is Born -450 If Beale Street Could Talk +550 BlacKkKlansman +1100 Black Panther +1100 Bohemian Rhapsody +1600 The top category of the night seems like a no brainer but...I think am avoiding dropping the coin on ASIB simply because I really feel like Black PantheKlansman/Rhapsody are going to get a ton of votes and ASIB should already take multiple awards by this time. Beale Street was the Regina King show, period. I think she should win her category but the movie will not win this award. I almost hate to even bet because I know in my heart that ASIB will probably take this but Black Panther winning this award seems like destiny. It WILL NOT get an Oscar nomination and the HFPA knows it. Giving them the statue would take and industry shot at the Academy and cement them as the hip award, the award you want to win because its prestigious AND fun. With that said, the producers of ASIB decided to skip the slam dunk awards they would have gotten if they went for comedy/musical. They feel this movie is so strong it can take the most prestigious award the HFPA has, and they’ve got a damn good shot at it. I’m going small on Black Panther but I wouldn’t recommend tailing unless you’re just looking to have a little fun. My Bet – Black Panther .5u Best Motion Picture Musical Or Comedy Green Book +115 The Favorite +160 Vice +300 Mary Poppins Returns +1400 Crazy Rich Asians +2500 Great category with a lot of value all around. Every movie is a +115 or better for this category. You’ve got 4 “comedies” and one real musical here. This category had the most controversy on my spreadsheet and my gut says Vice. Ali is a real front-runner for supporting actor but IMO the movie itself fell flat. Vice is a star studded movie directed by Adam Mckay (The Big Short, which also won…) You know Adam Mckay from StepBrothers, Anchorman, Talledega Nights Etc. A second win for him would help anchor him as a leading director. The editing for Vice helps get them my vote here. Here’s hoping Green Book and Favorite split the votes. NOTE : If Bovada allows live betting and Ali & Viggo win their awards I will be hammering Green Book to hedge and then some. My bet – Vice 1u Best Actor In A Motion Picture Drama Bradley Cooper (A Star Is Born) -300 Rami Malek (Bohemian Rhapsody) +250 Willem Dafoe (At Eternity's Gate) +1400 John David Washington (BlacKkKlansman) +1800 Lucas Hedges (Boy Erased) +1800 My research actually has this muuuuch closer. The value for Malek is really good here. My sheet has this almost dead split with Rami in a small lead (Cooper 42%, Malek 46%, everyone else a whopping 12%.) I tend to agree however. Cooper is really singing, he really learned to play the guitar, and honestly ASIB is a better showcase roll. John D Washington was remarkable in Klansman, he could absolutely steal this if Rami and Cooper split these votes. +250 is too good of a value to ignore for someone getting this much buzz so I am going to take Malek but this may be one to just leave alone. My Bet – Rami Malek .5u Best Actor In A Motion Picture Musical Or Comedy Christian Bale (Vice) -170 Viggo Mortensen (Green Book) +185 Robert Redford (The Old Man & The Gun) +800 John C. Reilly (Stan & Ollie) +1600 Lin-Manuel Miranda (Mary Poppins Returns) +1600 Christian Bale seems too easy on this one. You guys know the rules, if you drastically change your body you get a huge boost in votes for an award. Viggo is amazing in Green Book but the movie really lacked in a lot of ways and I think that will bring his value down here. Ali will most likely take the supporting actor award and I would agree with that, Ali held that movie down. If I am wrong and Vice doesn’t take best comedy, I think this is the award they are handed. As mentioned before, at this time of night Ali will have already won or lost. If he has won and Viggo somehow takes this I would hammer down on Green Book if your book allows live betting. My Bet – Christian Bale 2u Best Actress In A Motion Picture Drama Lady Gaga (A Star Is Born)-250 Glenn Close (The Wife)+275 Nicole Kidman (Destroyer)+1100 Melissa McCarthy (Can You Ever Forgive Me?)+1200 Rosamund Pike (A Private War)+1400 I think this is the GaGa show. You guys remember when she won for American Horror Story and she had great speech that was overshadowed by Leo’s weird glance at her? The HFPA remembers. .. Kidman's best roll this year was for A Boy Erased, I have no idea why they chose this other movie for her, throw her back in the ocean (Aquaman joke, nailed it). Mcarthy was actually really really good in her roll and in any other year she would get a small bet from me with those odds but on the real, Gaga is going to win. I really think -250 is a blessing because of the names she’s up against. My Bet - Lady Gaga 25u Best Actress In A Motion Picture Musical Or Comedy Olivia Colman (The Favorite)-140 Emily Blunt (Mary Poppins Returns)+150 Charlize Theron (Tully)+1200 Constance Wu (Crazy Rich Asians)+1200 Elsie Fisher (Eighth Grade)+1400 Constance Wu is my dark horse fav for the night. The HFPA would love to brag about giving an award to Wu. Theron is just nominated because they want her to be in the house, she will not get an Oscar nom. If you saw The Favorite then you probably know how great Colman was in her role. It’s hard to overlook her, she is the frontrunner for a reason. However, Emily Blunt is a really great Mary Poppins and theaters are selling out seats for her movie. Both Coleman and Blunt have Globes already, both for mini-series acting. I may avoid this category altogether however I will edit this post if I decide to bet. Leaning Blunt with a small bet on Wu. Best Animated Motion Picture Incredibles 2 +125 Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse +150 Isle Of Dogs +300 Mirai +1800 Ralph Breaks The Internet +1800 This is surprisingly one of the hardest categories this year. Into The Spider-Verse is my #4 movie of the year. The art was beyond amazing, the humor was non-stop, and the action was paced perfectly. Let’s be real, there’s a Pixar juggernaut in the mix here so the smart move is probably to steer clear of this one. Isle of Dogs is getting a steady stream of buzz but nothing to suggest it would win. You know I am always a fan of betting on 2 nominees if they’re both in the +++ but +125 and +150 aren’t really a wide enough difference or big enough number. If Isle Of Dogs was not in the picture here I would probably go 2 units on Incredibles and Verse but theres too good of an outside chance that Dogs will swipe the rug out from under us. The safe bet is always with Pixar. I will update this with my final choice nearer to Sunday. If I have a whiskey driven evening I will probably hit Spider-Verse. Did you see Spider-Verse? See Spider-Verse. Best Director Alfonso Cuarón (Roma) -250 Bradley Cooper (A Star Is Born) +275 Adam McKay (Vice) +1000 Spike Lee (BlacKkKlansman) +1400 Peter Farrelly (Green Book) +1600 Alright I am actually writing this one last because it puzzles me. I can absolutely see the HFPA award Cooper for his first directing gig being such a hit. Sure it’s a story that’s proven to pull in crowds but he still nailed it. Not everyone loved the movie but no one hated it. With that said, Cuaron is technically nominated for his foreign film. That’s pretty rare but with Netflix being the medium it was easy for them to get into the foreign category and get a free win. Like seriously Roma is a fantastic movie and the directing is great. The picture he paints with a limited canvas is absolutely captivating. Adam Mckay should be more like +600. I am a little surprised to see him down so low however I think his movie will have already won best screenplay at this point and so losing this will be alright...he still gets to add those little icons to his DVD case. My Bet - Cauron 1.25u Best Foreign Language Motion Picture Roma (Mexico) -600 Never Look Away (Germany)+650 Shoplifters (Japan)+800 Capernaum (Lebanon)+1800 Girl (Belgium)+1800 Cauron is the front-runner for best director for a reason. They chose to submit it for foreign language because it will totally win in the category. It’ll get an Oscar nomination and lose and then just hang out on your “yeah I’ll watch that eventually” list on your Netflix queue. Not worth betting imo so I am staying clear. Best Supporting Actor In Any Motion Picture Mahershala Ali (Green Book) -130 Richard E. Grant (Can You Ever Forgive Me?) +180 Timothée Chalamet (Beautiful Boy) +400 Adam Driver (BlacKkKlansman) +2000 Sam Rockwell (Vice) +2500 Ali, all day. This is one of those categories that seems too easy. He really shines in Green Book. He was nominated before for his roll in Moonlight. He lost that night however the movie took home the biggest prize. I think he has a big career ahead and this could be a giant stepping stone. Side note, he is The Prowler in Spider-Verse and that was a damn fun character to watch. My Bet – Ali 3u Best Supporting Actress In Any Motion Picture Regina King (If Beale Street Could Talk) -250 Amy Adams (Vice) +235 Emma Stone (The Favorite) +1200 Claire Foy (First Man) +1400 Rachel Weisz (The Favorite) +2000 Regina King is nominated twice on Sunday. She may win both. Emma and Rachel are going to split a handful of votes and Claire Foy isn’t winning anything that isn’t related to The Crown. As the odds show this is going to come down to HFPA darling Amy Adams and ‘powerhouse finally hitting her stride’ Regina King. If you check her wikipedia youll see she has 13 nominations for this award from various academies, shes already won 9 of them, with 2 left to go. My only hesitation is that she may also win her TV award. You know how much back-patting the HFPA would like to give itself for giving an african-american actress a TV and Film award on the same night? I mean, think of the press they’d get. Best Television Limited Series Or Motion Picture Made For Television The Assassination Of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story -150 Sharp Objects +200 A Very English Scandal +400 Escape At Dannemora +2000 The Alienist +2000 You can thank Sharp Objects for being nominated because AOGV is going to win big this year. Not going to go over it too much because it’s a dull category but basically Sharp Objects is this years Big Little Lies but without all the hype or momentum. My Bet – AOGV 4u Best Television Series Drama Killing Eve -170 Homecoming +200 The Americans +500 Pose +2000 Bodyguard +2500 Killing Eve was a really interesting show and I think Sandra Oh deserves a lot of praise but I really don’t see it winning this award. The Emmys already said no thanks. This is the 5th and final attempt at a Globe for The Americans and I think it has a real shot at this one. Matthew Rhys should take home his award in the acting category. Homecoming was a flash-in-the-pan show for Amazon but it had a shit load of flash. This is a 2 bet line for me. My Bet Homecoming 1u + The Americans 1u Best Television Series Musical Or Comedy The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel -175 The Kominsky Method+300 Barry +350 The Good Place +1800 Kidding +2000 I am completely torn on this category. I have a hard time believing Mrs Maisel should win again. It’s second season was arguably weaker than it’s first however it destroyed at the Globes and Emmys last year. I think Barry should be above The Kominsky Method, I feel the nomination here was to get the show’s stars in the seats. Full disclosure The Good Place is easily my favorite show of the bunch and the only major network for TV this year…and that’s nuts. My gut says stay away but there’s a chance I throw a half unit on Barry. It killed at the Emmys this year. Thanks for reading everyone. Good luck on Sunday. Hopefully by then you’ve already had a great weekend of winning your NFL bets and are starting the new year off right! EDITS : SIB moved to -600, Gaga to -400. AOGV to -220 Bale up to -200 Malek moved to +185 Spider-verse moved to -175! Should have jumped on it with the value Roma is at -1200 now lol FINAL PRESHOW EDIT : I took sprider-verse for 1 unit at -175
I've just completed the Hershel Layton Hexology. Here are my thoughts on each game.
Last year, I decided that I was going to replay all the Professor Layton games in order to fully appreciate the story and narrative. I'd played CV close to launch, as with DB - but then I didn't pick up another one for years. I'd watched LPs of the few other games but never managed to finish them. So I went out and completed my collection and decided to replay them. I intend to play PLvAA - I watched an LP of that years ago, and I loved the AA franchise like a son when they were releasing too. I also intend to play the Katrielle (daughter) game after that, which I'm going into blind -so please, no spoilers on Katrielle*. And no, I didn't save scum for max picarats. I just used a guide. Sad truth is, I'm an adult now and I don't have the free time to play story games without assistance because I don't have hours of time to spare anymore. I solved most of them on my own then checked the answer to see if I was right - judge as you want.* Anyway, a good gentlemen doesn't keep Reddit waiting. and also, spoilers for the series. https://i.redd.it/x9rzrf8ntce31.png
Professor Layton and the Curious Village
I first played this game around its launch - maybe a bit later. 2009? And it absolutely blew me away. The story was great, the puzzles were great (for the most part. Those block sliding ones and the "Calculate this math" ones I'm not keen on. And the mystery was great too. The plot twisted and turned at every point, yet it all still made sense and was easy to follow. And it was very unlikely you would figure out the mysteries until Layton did too - which is something I've noticed the later games struggled with. It might have seemed a little left field to have a town filled with robots, and for Layton to leave the town to it's own devices - but you have to remember this comes straight off the heels of Azran Legacy, timeline-wise. And if you're familiar with how that ends, then it makes perfect sense for Layton's character. Things that are great about CV in particular: The music - I'm willing to bet good money you can still hum this games puzzles' theme. I imagine the xylophone-chiming is still stuck in your head. The minigames - sorting furniture out for Layton and Luke was a fun, if easy puzzle. The painting was likewise fun, especially when you've assembled most of it and you realize it's upside down. Gizmo the dog was fine, too. More of a "collection" that the later games would focus on. Final verdict: CV is a great game. And I don't think it's fair many people put it on the bottom, or near-bottom, of their ranking lists. I think this game suffers heavily from first game syndrome - just because it's vanilla doesn't mean it's bad. Vanilla is tasty.
Professor Layton and the Diabolical Pandora's Box
In the UK, it's called Pandora's Box, but I'm calling it DB for clarity and ease. Also, why not just the Elysian Box? That's the name of the bloody thing. Another great Layton game I played around its launch. It's exactly what fans wanted - more of the same, elsewhere. I don't enjoy this game as much, as I feel the first half wants to both rush you out of Dropstone to Folsense yet drag along so you don't miss the important story foreshadowing. It's an awkward pace - like when you're trying to overtake someone. And again, you couldn't predict the main mystery too early - even though it made sense once it was explained. Although some of the smaller mysteries (if they deserve to be called that) are pathetic, in my opinion. That "missing little baby"? I knew it was a dog the minute I saw the woman - you could just tell the game was setting up a bait-and-switch. Layton immediately assuming it was a boy was not only fallacious (considering his previous experience - he's solved four mysteries at this point) but entirely out of character. And so was him missing Flora's Team Rocket Disguise, yet calling her out on it later on. The only reason I can think these mysteries are as simple as they are is so they didn't exclude the people who heard Layton was good and picked up Game 2 before Game 1. I get it - but I don't like it. Anton was great though. That whole final bit escaping the castle was just as tense as the first time, and I knew what was coming. Bloody brilliant character - and it's a shame he only got so much screentime. More could have been done with his character and relationship with Sophia. Things that are great about DB in particular: The tea minigame - I like the Danny DeVito hamster. His minigame isn't fun but he is. The camera minigame is... fine. But the tea minigame was great. Figuring out which teas are worth a damn, figuring out who wanted what drink. It was great. The only thing this needed was a way to offer people tea without having to wait 'til they were thirsty. Otherwise, it's perfect. The setting - Folsense, in particular, is fantastic. While it feels a bit awkwardly paced as most of the story seems to take place over one night, it nevertheless feels great to explore. I remember where most everything is in Folsense all these months after beating it. Final verdict: I like DB. I like DB more than I like CV, if I'm honest. But I don't think it's better. I think a lot of people rank this above CV only because it does more with the setting. Some of the puzzles are harder, more taxing - which is great for returning players, but the newbies who might have joined the bandwagon wrong will likely get frustrated with some of them. Yet, if they should be playing CV first then this one, why have the easy bloody mysteries at the beginning? It just seems weird to me. Of course, that's just my opinion, and you might have a different opinion, well then: https://i.redd.it/7k7wbp8luce31.png
Professor Layton and the Lost Unwound Future
In the UK, it's called Lost Future, but I'm calling it UF for clarity and ease. Lost Future makes more sense, but Unwound Future just sounds better. I missed this one at launch. I watched an LP of it around 2013 and yes, this game is exactly as good as people make it out to be. Layton gets a letter from a Future Luke Triton, who invites him to the London of tomorrow where Hershel Layton has become the Crime Boss, the MVP, the man to fear, of London. It's a great story that deserves to be experienced blind. It really is. Every character completes their character arc in this game - some I didn't realise had arcs set up. The game a a bit of a letdown in the minigame department this time round - I didn't like the car game much - just a reskin of the hamster one. The picture book one, I enjoyed a little. Don't like the parrot one, though. But the game made up for those with strides in regards to the story. I think it speaks for itself, and there's nothing I can add that hasn't already been set. Things that are great about UF in particular: The story. \"You don't have to say anything at all.\" The setting - Future London is nifty, but navigating it is a bit odd. It's nice to be able to explore London, though, for once. Layton games take place in a weird futuristic Victorian era bubble where everyone drives around in Model T's but they've landed on the moon? That's one puzzle I've never figured out. But it's nice that they expanded it as I imagine many players were waiting to see it in game - and the fast travel options are a lot nicer for end-game puzzle-hunting, too. Not needed, but welcome none-the-less. Final verdict: I can see why people think of this as the best game in the series. I'm inclined to agree, but there's something in my heart telling me that some of the goodwill I feel to this game is peer-pressure from everyone else. It's longer, meatier and better than both the previous games. I think it does deserve the title of Best Layton game, honestly, even if I can't put my finger on why.
Professor Layton and the Last Spectre's Call.
In the UK, it's called Spectre's Call, but I'm calling it LS for clarity and ease. I don't care either way in terms of the names. I imagine someone here has taken umbrage with my opinion that Diabolical Box is worse than Curious Village. Those people should stop reading. In my own, personal, absolutely infallable opinion which if you disagree with well then that's anti-soviet behavior and the courts find you guilty and sentence you to be shot - I like Professor Layton and the Last Spectre's Call more than Unwound Future. [Actual screencap of my inbox right now.](https://i.redd.it/p1tacqtwuce31.png Maybe that's not objectively true. The story in LS is far weaker than UF. But I don't love this game for the story, if I'm honest. No, what UF is to plot, LS is to characterisation, in my humble, irrefutable opinion. It's nice to see how Luke met Layton. It's nice to meet a cast of new characters. I like Aldus more than Stachenscarfen - he's funnier and it's nice to see a tutorial character break the fourth wall by essentially pulling a Tuxedo Mask "My job here is done," "But I already knew that.". It fits the series humour. Emmy is great. She's probably my favourite character of the series at this point - she's essentially a mix of Layton and Don Paolo's best traits. And her humour is damn near spot on for the series. Layton has his moments but being a gentleman he won't do anything beneath a gentleman. Luke also has his moments, but they're only so many times a child squaring up like he's ten fucking men only to hastily back out on the raise is funny. Emmy, on the other hand, is exactly what the Layton duo needed. She sees herself as Layton Lite but is more than willing to stoop to Luke's level.
Emmy: Professor, this reminds me of a puzzle... from an insane asylum.
Layton: Emmy, please don't do that. I don't want to explain to Clark that we broke down his son's door because we couldn't solve a puzzle.
Emmy: Put the back of the back back so that the back's back is facing back. Professor, I think my brain just exploded.
She's the breath of fresh air this game needed, considering it's now the same gameplay four times in a row. I honestly think gameplay fatigue weighs heavily on people's minds here, as the incremental improvements to the game begin to slow down quite a bit. What the writers did to her in Azran Legacy should be considered a war crime - they had two games to write her out of the corner they knew they were in, and what they went with was awful. A heroic sacrifice, to explain why she was retconned. Or maybe she was injured in the finale of AL, so she had to sit out the original CVDBUF trilogy. Something that didn't irredeemably betray her character, seeing as she spent two and a half games built up as a pseudo-sister to Luke and pseudo-daughter to Layton. It just saddens me, honestly. Also fantastic is Descolé - I realize it's not accented, but it should be, really. Anyway, Descolé. What a magnificent bastard he is. He's mysterious, charming, suave - he's a foil to Don Paolo, who was quite hot-blooded and impulsive. Descolé is cold, calculating, and although he does have some "heart-of-gold" moments, he's very clearly on the side of Descolé. Sometimes that opposes Layton, sometimes it doesn't - it just depends on what Targent are up to. More on them in a bit. The story's a lot more bog-standard this time round - it's weaker than Curious Village, and that's the game where they were just finding their feet with plots. That Loosha whale thing was an ass-pull that existed only for a teary moment at the end I couldn't help but laugh at. Seamus actually being a young man in costume, like the dog in DB, was a twist so blatantly sodding obvious I sincerely hope no one was expected to take it seriously. Also, what was up with his fucking accent? I promise you now, not one human being alive on this earth talks like that, and certainly not in England. And again, some of the story beats don't really seem to go anywhere. The witch storyline, the corrupt cops, I don't know. There's a lack in the payoff, that's for sure. The minigames are also lackluster, again. Which is a shame. The train one was good, but the puppet show one was boring, and I ended up giving up with it until the very end. when I had the words. Fish one was again, just... there. And the mice game. What was up with that? Is it a little bit of fun? Yeah. But awarding 100 points per mouse max, and wanting me to get 1,000,000 points by grinding again and again? fuck off, mate. Things that are great about LS in particular: The music. Misthallery's Many Canals. Puzzle Theme. A Strange Story. The Black Market. Foggy Misthallery. The Train Theme. Descole's Theme. The Final Battle. The Golden Garden. https://i.redd.it/p6sbo16htce31.png OH MY GOD. SO MANY GOOD THEMES. Final verdict: Layton has always had some stellar songs, but LS certainly has the highest density of absolute bangers. This game's music, as well as it's characters, absolutely rise above the story. Not to the heights of UF, no. But that was a tough act to follow - be a new UF, AND set up a new trilogy? You try it. I honestly don't think the game deserves the rap it gets. Alright, no one says they hate it - but I really do think things like fatigue and UF weigh on people's judgement of the game, especially if you're shotgunning through the series like I did.
Professor Layton and the Eternal Diva
This is the bit of the trilogy where you get to watch Eternal Diva, spoiler free. It's fantastic, although I didn't this time round because I wasn't able to find the DVD I bought. I have seen it, and it's great. All the VA's return, and it really does capture the spirit of the games while also throwing in all sorts of references for the fans. I don't remember much of the story, as I thought it was a little confusing, but that's not really the film's fault. Video game films can be good - Eternal Diva proves it. Get it cheap on eBay or Amazon or somewhere. I wouldn't pay more than a few bucks/quid for it, though. $10/£10 seems fair. If you're a fan of the cutscene bits in Layton, you'll love this. And also, it helps flesh out Descolé, which is a nice plus.
Professor Layton and the Miracle Mask
The series moves to 3DS for it's fifth installment. I own a DS but not a 3DS. Is it worth picking one up for these two games? Yes, it is. Get a 2DS, because the 3D effect is nice, but only really adds a bit of depth in the cutscenes. Also, 2DS is cheaper. They're essentially the same console, except you can fold one of them. And many games never ended up doing anything with the 3D after 2012 anyway. The jump to 3D improves the series substantially - no longer is movement awkward and fiddly (did you know you can drag the shoe and suitcase across the screen, if you're lefthanded? I didn't. But I kept bloody doing it in DB, UF and LS.) but instead you click the spot on the map you want to travel to. The graphics improve, with Layton, Luke and Emmy as well as the other characters sporting 3DS models. They look great, and would be improved on again in AL, even though I thought they were good in MM. I think there's something charming about MM's models - but AL's do look nicer. Anyway, this time around the Masked Gentleman is running around and destroying the city of Monte D'Or, where we get to learn more about Professor Layton's backstory. We meet characters like Angela and Henry LeDore, who both knew Layton as a teen with best buddy Randall Ascot, who tragically disappeared in the Akbadain Ruins when he and Layton explored them years ago. https://i.redd.it/tzajij0rtce31.png Series veterans, at this point, will likely be able to see some of the big reveals coming, which only gets more and more subtle (spelled with sledgehammers) as the climax approaches. I enjoyed the story, and some of the mysteries were intriguing. The shop minigame was interesting, and the robot one was fine. I didn't much like the rabbit play one, though - it was too much trial and error if you chose the wrong move, and considering how some of the hints are worded, that was infuriating. The horse one, likewise, was good but infuriating when going after all the flags. Don't bother - I didn't. Once again, the characters are funny and likeable - Aldus makes his return, and Emmy continues to bring much needed levity to the darkening plot begining to unfold. Like the bit where she sees the comment cards in the town hall:
Emmy: I'm tempted to write silly things on them! Layton: I would advise agai— Oh, she's already started. [pulls hat over his eyes]
Or the bit when they go to the theme park.
Luke: Look, Professor! Families get thirty percent off all the rides! Layton: Yes, Luke. Emmy. I know what you're thinking.
And she's more than willing to kick down the fourth wall for us fans to have a good laugh.
Luke: A ferris wheel chasing people around? That's just silly, Emmy!
Things that are great about MM in particular: The puzzle design really improves in this game - the 3DS gives it much more in way of options for the puzzles. That trek through Akbadain was great for someone who never got to play LS's London Life. Who the fuck thought getting rid of that for Multiple language support was a good idea? You've already released the game in six languages, just have one language per game you shitheads, I bought the English version of the game for fuck's sake so I'm not exactly looking to play it in hablo Espanol am I? Cunts. The daily puzzles were great, too, and I definitely prefer these batch to AL's, even though half of them end up in that game anyway. Final Verdict: The story's far better than LS. It's a bit predictable, it's a bit Friendship is Magic, but it's also exactly what you'd expect from Professor Layton. It ends on a happy note, which might not fit with the events that unfold in the climax, or the tragedy of the story before the ending, but I'm okay with that. I'm reminded of the last lines in Harry Potter Six, where it goes something along the lines of:
Tomorrow, Harry will have to begin his search in earnest. He will have to confront his fears, his past, Voldemort. He will have to leave everything he loves behind. But that was for tomorrow. Today, was for Harry to enjoy. The tears would come tomorrow.
I may have butchered that. It's been a long time since I read that book. All in all, I don't really have a lot to say about MM since most of my time was spent with the Daily Puzzles - it's all sort of blurred together, like an artist mixing paints until it all goes a bit grey. Also, am I the only one who thought it was odd the ending credits had steel drums solos and other island-themed music for a game set solely in a desert? Not complaining - the song is cheery and good to listen to if you need to perk up. Just seems a bit out of place.
Professor Layton and the Azran Legacy
And here we are - the end of the hexology. Azran Legacy does for the world of Professor Layton what UF did for London - expands the world and the lore and makes it feel a more complete universe. Many new characters are introduced, but many are forgettable as a result. There's this one guy, Mackintosh, who I only remembered because I thought he looks a bit like Where's Waldo: Which made it all the more funnier later on when he goes fucking missing. Aurora was fine, but again, we've all seen the monotone, dead-eyed little girl tropes before. Her arc was an unexpectedly expected reveal, and her story ties back into the plot of Curious Village in a nice way (that bookend of the drive to St. Mystere was brilliant and I loved it). Bronev, and Targent on a whole, however, was quite a bit of a letdown for me - Bronev shows up out of nowhere at the climax of MM, and he's nowhere to be seen or heard about in LS (as far as I know). He's foreshadowed very poorly through the trilogy and while I like the idea of Layton-Descole-Bronev all sharing a past, it certainly isn't built up enough. Again, like with UF, I don't want to spoil the story as I feel you really deserve to see it for yourself if you haven't. The only thing I'll fault the ending on is, as I said, what they did to Emmy's character. Her being a double agent feels like an ass-pull the series writers of HIMYM came up with. All her characterisation, undone in an instant. I really hope they write a repention arc in for her in the Katrielle game but don't tell me if they do - no spoilers. Things that are great about AL in particular: Desmond Sycamore! My god, and I thought Emmy was a breath of fresh air! If you paid attention to the ending of MM then the big twist regarding Sycamore should be apparent. And yet, unlike the other predictable twists, it doesn't feel forced. In fact, noticing that Descolé's pal Raymond is the same guy as Sycamore's servant feels more a reward for paying attention, especially when you imagine the year gap between releases. Sycamore is just a great character - he's essentially Descolé but in the Layton party. Some of his moments are absolutely fantastic, but I really wish they let his snarky comments land with the NPCs if not the party. Also the name is great - Desmond Sycamore. Des Sycamore. Des-ca...more. Descolé. That's what tipped me off the first time I watched an LP of this game. Also the fact they're both voiced by Walter Rego. Also, the Daily Puzzles are back! And they're great. Almost perfect! Apart from this one little achievement they've got where you have to do at least one daily puzzle every day for fifty days which can fuck off from wherever the people who ruined Emmy and thought London Life would flop in Europe fucked off to. I did it. It took me four fucking hours to reset my 2DS time every five minutes, more if you count the time I forgot to save on a 29-day streak so essentially did 80 days of constant puzzle solving for a shitty little flute. Also, the minigames in particular were a let down this time around. The flower one was interesting at first, but the squirrel one was just a rehash of the same car one I've beaten three, maybe four times now. Final verdict: Azran Legacy was great, as were all of these games. Getting to see different locales was brilliant, seeing as I often got cabin fever towards the end of the other five games seeing the same areas over and over again. It was also nice you could visit them out of order, although why would you want to, honestly? That of course meant the puzzle difficulty levels off for a long time, but for younger or more casual fans thats fine. Someone below has made the argument that AL doesn't build towards a grander theme because of scattered locales, but I think for one game it's a nice change of pace. Layton ain't an exploration game by design so getting to explore felt like a reward for sticking with the series. I'm glad I did this. Edit: I forgot to mention this in the original review, but I also immensely enjoyed the idea of daily puzzles in the last two games. Often, when I wasn't in a story mood, it was nice to fall back on getting the last few trophies for my collections in MM and AZ. I liked the idea of weekly puzzles in the first four games, and did most of the ones I had downloaded way back when, but these were like an Italian chef kissing his fingers for me. Simply sublime.
Edit as of 01/08/2020: I will not be reviewing Katrielle and the Millionaire's Conspiracy as first planned. I have finished three cases of that game and my initial impressions soon fell apart as I realized the game was simply... not for me, to put it diplomatically. My thoughts on Katrielle are as follows: Play this Layton game first, but absolutely do not play it last. I played the 3DS version, maybe the switch is better, but I found it incredibly fiddly when writing in answers because a tap on the screen did a "pond-ripple" effect rather than writing, and I had to double-tap just to write. I just... I just didn't like it, and I honestly don't expect it to get better. I figured the bird ate the camera roll... but the fact it SHIT ON THE ROLL, and Sheldon Cuntflaps was too proud to run the tape through the machine and cut it away shouldn't be lauded... it shouldn't even be laughed at. He should be fired for a) destruction of property and b) bringing an animal into work even though it was already against the rules. That was when I said "fuck this, I'm out", which was a shame. Also, the names were all over the place this time. Lowonida, the Celtic word for London and also "Law and Order"? Contrived but damn clever. But Sherl O. C. Kholmes? No. First time I heard that I think I actually, audibly retched. He even stumbles saying it in his puzzle victory speech. "They don't call me Sherl O. C. Kholmes for nothing." Maybe the O. C. stands for OC, like "My Sonic the Hedgehog OC DO NOT STEAL". What was wrong with "Watson"? Or, like Earnest says, "Shirley"? Sherlock Basset, Shirley Basset for short. There you go - that's a name everyone can fucking enjoy.
Hi guys! Here are the girls from Cycle 3. If you guys know any of the missing girls’ social media handles, please let me know so I can add it to this post!
Name: Magdalena Rivas Placed: 14th Age: 36/37 (Estimate only; birthday isn’t online) First Call Outs: 0 Bottom 2: 0 (eliminated outside of panel) Twitter Followers: N/A Instagram Followers: 412 (@magdarivas) Magdalena Rivas on IMDB ANTM CYCLE 3 Joining America’s Next Top Model Cycle 3 did not necessarily put Rivas’ modeling career into high gear as she was the first one eliminated from the 14 finalists. She did get a little taste of what professional models go through everyday when they were flown from New York to Jamaica to do their very first photo shoot. She was eliminated on the spot, the morning after the photo shoot. POST-TOP MODEL Magdalena has kept a low profile since the show. She’s done some modeling work, but is not currently being represented by an agency. Magdalena has done print work for Vibe Magazine, ELLEGirl, and The Lab Uptown. She currently (according to her facebook) works for Children’s Health, a Nonprofit Organization based in Dallas, Texas. She has 2 beautiful girls, Nyla and Fiona. Name: Leah Darrow Placed: 13th Age: 36/37 (Estimate only; birthday isn’t online) First Call Outs: 0 Bottom 2: 1 Twitter Followers: 23.7k (@leahdarrow) Instagram Followers: 27.3k (@leah.darrow) Leah Darrow on IMDB ANTM CYCLE 3 Although it’s clear that Leah possesses the physical attributes of a model, she was the second to be cut on America’s Next Top Model on Cycle 3. Her removal from the show was brought upon by Leah’s plain and unimpressive photo shoot. The photographer remarked that Leah did not make eye contact with the camera and Tyra Banks commented that she did not position herself well in the pictures. After being eliminated, she walked away from the room without bidding the others farewell, but vowed to keep on pursuing her dream to become a professional model. POST-TOP MODEL After appearing on the show, Leah appeared in FHM Magazine. Since then, she is now an advocate for the Roman Catholic Church and Catholic modeling, doing print work for publications for The St. Louis Review, The Catholic Weekly, Lighthouse Catholic Media, YFE.org, as well as the cover and a spread in Family Foundation Magazine. Some of Leah’s speeches cover topics such as modesty, chastity, the pro-life message (including the death penalty), “catholic” fashion, conversion from sin, and living your life for Christ. Since the show, Leah has a regular podcast entitled Do Something Beautiful (now on it’s fourth season) where she regularly discusses a variety of topics. She has also come out with her own book, The Other Side of Beauty, based on the lies we are told about our worth being tied to our appearance and instead invites us to look again at the real meaning of beauty. She has also appeared in TV series such as The Journey Home and Beloved. In 2012, she married her boyfriend Ricky, who serves in the US Military. Leah has 3 beautiful children: Agnes (born 2013), Ambrose (born 2015), and Violet (born 2016). In May 2017, Leah graduated with Magna cum Laude honors with her Masters in Theology from the Augustine Institute. Name: Julie Titus Placed: 12th Age: 31/32 (Estimate only; birthday isn’t online) First Call Outs: 0 Bottom 2: 1 Twitter Followers: 214 (@JustifiedJulie) Instagram Followers: 632 (@ninewestjewel) Julie Titus on IMDB ANTM CYCLE 3 Julie seemed to have a promising start, but during the third photo shoot in America’s Next Top Model, Cycle 3, her performance fell short of being excellent to the judges. Furthermore, at the panel, Julie admitted that the reason why she joined the show was to gain more exposure as a clothes designer rather than a model. The revelation ultimately led to her elimination. POST-TOP MODEL Julie is another one of those girls has kept a low profile since the show. She doesn’t have a big online foot print, except for her twitter and her instagram. She has done print work for Republic of Brown, and has appeared the Ray Billion Look Book. Sometime after the show, she worked as a North American sales manager for the Thursday Island clothing line. She has also mentored models for The Model Experience. In July 2015 (I think), she married her boyfriend, Bill Clifford, in California. Name: Kristi Grommet Placed: 11th Age: 31/32 (Estimate only; birthday isn’t online) First Call Outs: 0 Bottom 2: 1 Twitter Followers: N/A Instagram Followers: N/A Kristi Grommet on IMDB ANTM CYCLE 3 Kristi was memorable for coming into initial auditions wearing her senior prom dress, which was made from an American Flag. The fourth week in America’s Next Top Model, Cycle 3 had the models posing for Lee Jeans ads with hair extensions braided into their hair. Kristi Grommet may have had the looks and the body, but her lack of confidence during the challenge was what made Tyra and her fellow judges cut Kristi from the competition. POST-TOP MODEL After her stint on America’s Next Top Model, Kristi went on to model for In Touch Magazine, where she portrayed Miranda from the HBO series Sex and the City. She has done some test shots, but hasn’t really pursued modelling. In 2014, she directed a freshman/sophomore production of Arabian Nights. She is not currently represented by an agency. She doesn’t have a big footprint on the internet, since there was very little about her online. In 2006, her boyfriend Gunther proposed to her in Times Square in New York City. She currently has 2 sons and 1 daughter. Aside from that, not much is known about what she’s up to these days. Name: Jennipher Uralcher, née Frost Placed: 10th Age: 35 First Call Outs: 0 Bottom 2: 2 Twitter Followers: 1,420 (@Jennipherfrost) Instagram Followers: 945 (@j.urlacher) Jennipher Frost on IMDB ANTM CYCLE 3 Her time on America’s Next Top Model, Cycle 3 didn’t last very long as she was the fourth contestant eliminated by the judges. During her short stay in the competition, Jennipher frequently had confrontations with Eva Pigford because of the latter’s attitude. She also did not mix well with Ann Markley, with whom she almost engaged in a fight. Part of the makeover that Jennipher received from the show was a haircut, which she did not enjoy, as she was even seen crying after the hairstylist gave her a shoulder-length hairstyle. The fifth challenge for the season was to pose with roller skates on for a Dooney & Bourke accessories ad. The photos that were taken of her did not impress the judges at all, cutting her journey to the top short. POST-TOP MODEL Jennipher has done some print work, but is currently not represented by an agency. She had modeled for Magic Power Boats, Sex Symbol Jeans, Hot Boat, and Fiu Fiu. Sometime after the show, Jennipher became the food and beverage director of the SLS Beverly Hills. In 2012, Jennipher was the marketing manager at Andrea's in Las Vegas. On March 2016, Jennipher married Brian Urlacher, a former NFL linebacker. Their wedding was featured on the cover of Sports Entertainment Today. She is a step-mom to 3 children (from Brian’s former relationship): 2 daughters (Pam and Riley) and a son (Kennedy). Aside from this, not much is known regarding what else she does. Name: Kelle Jacob Placed: 9th Age: 32/33 (Estimate only; birthday isn’t online) First Call Outs: 0 Bottom 2: 3 Twitter Followers: 190 (@KelleJ) Instagram Followers: 682 (@kellejacob) Kelle Jacob on IMDB ANTM CYCLE 3 Kelle was sent to the bottom two with Ann Markley during the sixth week of America’s Next Top Model, Cycle 3. Although Tyra criticized them both for not bringing their great personalities into their pictures, the judges decided to take out Kelle, believing that she had less potential as a model. After being eliminated, Kelle remarked that she’ll try hard to build her career on her own, but did not seem overly optimistic. During the show, she won one challenge where the girls had to pose as mannequins in a La Perla store window. POST-TOP MODEL After her appearance on the show, Kelle Jacob was in Source Magazine and had a cover of Eminence Magazine. Kelle has modeled for designers and brands such as College Fashionista. After the show, she attended Hunter College in NYC where she pursued her bachelor’s degree in media (with a minor in english). She has been featured in a series of documentaries about undecided voters in the 2008 presidential democrat primaries for the NY Times. She is currently not represented by an agency. She is currently a member of the Global Marketing and Millennial Innovation Team at Estée Lauder. Name: Cassie James, née Grisham (Bottom left) Placed: 8th Age: 31/32 (Estimate only; birthday isn’t online) First Call Outs: 1 Bottom 2: 1 Twitter Followers: N/A Instagram Followers: 7 (@cassiegjames) Cassie Grisham on IMDB ANTM CYCLE 3 On America’s Next Top Model, Cycle 3, it was revealed that Cassie was suffering from bulimia. Tyra offered to give her counseling, but she refused it, choosing to deal with the condition on her own. However, it was not Cassie’s condition that made her the sixth person to be eliminated from the competition. Rather it was the lack of “fierceness” in her photos and her apparent disinterest that drove the judges to send Cassie home. POST-TOP MODEL Since the show, Cassie has graduated college in Oklahoma and has done some modeling work including a bridal shot. She was married in February of 2009.Not much else is known about Cassie after Top Model. She has no twitter, her instagram is private and most likely unused, and her fan page on facebook hasn’t been updated in years. Luckily, I found her husband’s facebook and it looks like the couple has 2 children, a boy and a girl. Name: Toccara Jones Placed: 7th Age: 36 First Call Outs: 1 Bottom 2: 2 Twitter Followers:124k (@iamTOCCARA) Instagram Followers: 139k (@iamtoccarajones) Toccara Jones on IMDB ANTM CYCLE 3 She was the twelfth finalist selected for Cycle 3, she won "Covergirl of the Week" four consecutive times though was never placed above fourth and was the eighth contestant eliminated. She was voted as one of the most memorable contestants by AOL Entertainment. POST-TOP MODEL She has been on the covers of Be, Essence, The Next Level Magazine (November 2005), Black Men Magazine, Black Hair Magazine, Braids & Beauty Magazine, King Magazine (February/March 2006, March/April 2006, and May 2008), Queen Sized Magazine, the October 2011 issue of Plus Model Magazine, Evolve Magazine, Rolling Out Magazine, and Sheen Magazine. She also appeared in the December 2008 issue of Ebony Magazine, Jet Magazine, Fashizblack Magazine, Kontrol Magazine, PrimeTyme Magazine, and HypeHair Magazine. She was photographed by Steven Meisel for the July 2008, All black issue of Vogue Italia and had a 14-page spread in the Magazine. The “Black Issue” featured significant past and current black models in response to the “black out” of black models preventing them from getting hired for print and runway jobs. Toccara has modeled for Ashley Stewart, Star Collection, Avon, Torrid, New York and Company, JCPenny, Target, Essence Magazine, Vibe Magazine, Lady Hennessey, Traci Lynn Jewelry, Evans, Qristyl Frazier Designs, The First Impression Collection, Ashley Stewart's Urban Chic Collection Fall 2010, and Smooth Magazine. Her runway shows include Hot 97’s Third Annual Full Frontal Hip hop Fashion Show, Luxe & Romance Fall 2005, BET Presents: Rip The Runway 2, Elle Girl presents Dare To Be You: Wal-Mart Meets America’s Next Top Models 2005 and Alice & Olivia Fall 2006. She was also selected to be part of the 2007 Rocawear “I Will Not Lose” campaign, representing the Rocawear plus-size line for full-figured females. Like other ANTM alum, Toccara has ventured into both hosting and acting. She has co-hosted an episode of 106 & Park. She was a correspondent for The Black Carpet and a co-host on the game show Take the Cake, both for the BET network. In 2006, Jones appeared in another reality show for VH1, Celebrity Paranormal Project. In 2008, Jones was a competitor on the second season of the VH1 series Celebrity Fit Club. Jones later appeared on Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp, which pitted celebrities from past seasons up against new celebrities. She ended the show weighing in at 166 pounds, surpassing her weight-loss goal by 7 pounds. She has released her own workout DVD called Toccara's Fabulous Work-Out for Real Size Women. In 2011, Jones starred in the second season of the reality series The Ultimate Merger. She made an appearance in Trina's music video for the song "I Got a Thang for You". She participated in a 2009 national tour of The Vagina Monologues with an all-black cast. She also made an appearance in the 2012 movie Think Like A Man. Recently, Toccara has just launched her new lingerie line, Toccara Jones Intimate Apparel. Name: Nicole Borud Placed: 6th Age: 33/34 (Estimate only; birthday isn’t online) First Call Outs: 1 Bottom 2: 1 Twitter Followers: 134 (@EcoBunny) Instagram Followers: 363 (@elocinjay) Nicole Borud on IMDB ANTM CYCLE 3 For the ninth week of America’s Next Top Model Cycle 3, the remaining girls, including Nicole, were flown to Tokyo in order to shoot a Japanese commercial for Campbell’s Soup. Although all the girls had a difficult time, most especially with learning their lines (which were in Japanese), it was Nicole whom the judges felt did not come through the commercial enough, thus making her the eight contestant to be sent home. POST-TOP MODEL Some time after being eliminated from the show, Nicole decided to relocate to San Clemente, California. Nicole did not pursue modeling; instead, she has pursued acting. However, I haven’t found anything from her (acting or modeling wise). Her instagram, which is her most active social media platform, doesn’t show us much about her. Her feed has a lot of selfies, her dog, and some of her other interests. It seems she has moved back home to North Dakota. A quick LinkedIn search shows that she works as an Assistant Manager for The Buckle Inc. Previous job experiences post-ANTM show that she worked for Victoria’s Secret as a Visual Merchandising Manager and Sears as Assistant Manager - Softlines. Name: Norelle Griffith, née Van Herk Placed: 5th Age: 33 (Estimate only; birthday isn’t online) First Call Outs: 0 Bottom 2: 1 Twitter Followers: 36 (@NorelleGriffith) Instagram Followers: 509 (@norelle_griffith) Norelle Van Herk on IMDB ANTM CYCLE 3 As a finalist on America’s Next Top Model, Cycle 3, Norelle was the only competitor among the fourteen girls who came into the competition with braces on her teeth. Her braces were removed as a part of her makeover for the show. Although her overall performance was impressive, her blunders in the Tokyo photo shoot and her difficulty walking on the runway were what compelled the judges to make Norelle the ninth contestant to be eliminated. Her photo shoot for T-Mobile went well, but was not well enough to keep her on the show for another week. During her stint on ANTM, Norelle won a make-up challenge featured during the show’s third episode. POST-TOP MODEL Norelle was able to attain considerable success as a model after her appearance on America’s Next Top Model, Cycle 3. She received contracts from NOUS models and Dream Models in Asia, and working with these agencies were beneficial as she was able to book numerous advertisements. She has done print work for Sisters Magazine, Yes! Magazine, Sudden Weekly, and Goat Boutique. Norelle has also appeared on the TV show One on One. However, Norelle eventually decided to leave the fashion industry temporarily in order to pursue her education. Sometime after the show, Norelle got married to Dave Griffith and now has 2 beautiful kids; 2 sons and a daughter. Not much is know about what happened to her after she left the industry. Name: Ann Branca, née Markley Placed: 4th Age:34 First Call Outs: 1 Bottom 2: 4 Twitter Followers: 995 (@annalainamarks) Instagram Followers: 11.8k (@annalainamarks) Ann Markley on IMDB ANTM CYCLE 3 Ann came close to making it to the Top 3 of America’s Next Top Model, Cycle 3, but was the tenth contestant eliminated from the show. During her stay in the competition, her athletic build prompted supermodel judge Janice Dickinson to bless her with the nickname, “Ann, The Man.” The judges finally gave in to Ann’s inability to produce strong and impressive photographs after the tenth photo shoot, despite Ann’s consistently strong performances on the runway. POST-TOP MODEL After her appearance on the show, Ann became highly successful as a model in the fashion industry. Going by the name Annalaina Marks, she was able to get a contract from three divisions of Elite Model Management, one of which is in Milan. She also obtained a contract from MC2, and has done extensive modeling work for Cover, Ford Fusion, ElleGirl Magazine, Gioia Magazine, Joie, Rojas, Heatherette, Nuala, ShopCaravan.com, Glamour Italia Magazine, the October and November 2005 editions of GQ Magazine, Accessories Magazine, Knit ‘N Style, First Magazine, Fashion Washington, Eyecare Business, Manhattan Bride, InStyle, Health Magazine, Marie Claire U.K., Shape Magazine, O: The Oprah Magazine, I Am Water Polo, Charleston Magazine, Fitness Magazine, Women’s Health, Burt’s Bees, Clairol, Beyond Beyond Magazine, Jay Manuel Beauty, Charleston Weddings, Rafaella Fit Your Shape campaign, Vogue Knitting, Pregnancy & Newborn Magazine, Walgreens, Bravado Designs, Target, L’Oreal, Dutch Cosmopolitan Magazine, Free People Magazine, Ray Ban, People Tree, Jimmy Bruch, The John Frieda Collection, Athleta, Champion, Miraclebody, Jones New York, Red Hearts Yarn, Adrianna Papell, LIJA Style, Spring 2014 Collection, Land's End Holiday 2014 Catalogue, Thyme Maternity, Target Maternity, Old Navy Maternity, Capezio 2014 catalogue, Sophia Tolli 2011 Bridal Collection, Lafayette 148 New York, SiO Beauty, KN Karen Neuburger, Lord & Taylor, and Zink Magazine. Moreover, Ann has graced the covers of Philadelphia Style Magazine and Washington, D.C. Style Magazine, and has walked the runway at Ellegirl presents Dare To Be You: Wal-Mart Meets America’s Next Top Models 2005, Alice and Olivia Fall 2006, Kara Saun Fall/Winter 2005, Richard TyleDelta Fall/Winter 2005, Harmon Fall/Winter 2005, Marc Bouwer Fall/Winter 2005, Cynthia Rowley Fall/Winter 2005, and Nicole Miller Fall/Winter 2005. During The 57th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards, Ann and America’s Next Top Model, Cycle 4 winner, Naima Mora, worked as the ceremony’s trophy girls. Since the show, Ann graced the cover of Bruce J. Nadler, M.D.’s novel, “The Nip Tuck Workout: Exercise through the Eyes of a Plastic Surgeon.” Like other ANTM alumni, Ann has branched into acting. Throughout the years, Ann has appeared in a number of acting projects including Project Runway, Sex, Love & Secrets, Made of Honor, Gossip Girl, Kings, Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, Bang, Choose, Lights Out, Blue Bloods, The Courier, Person of Interest, The Ones You Love, Delusions of Guinevere, The Good Wife, Club Life, and The Breaks.Ann has also appeared in a commercial for Wheat Thins and Travelocity. In 2016, she appeared in a short for The Late Show with Stephen Colbert. Ann has previously worked with Elite (New York), Elite Milano, Front Management (Miami), Images Management (New York), Model Management (Hamburg), and MC2 Model Management (Karin Models). Currently, Ann is signed with Wilhelmina New York (S Women’s Division), Wilhelmina Los Angeles (Women’s Division), Wilhelmina Miami (Fashion Women’s Division), Michael Howard Studios, and Nevs Model Agency (London) (Women Main Board). Ann got married in February 2013. Sometime in 2016, Ann gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Name: Amanda Swafford Placed: 3rd Age: 39 First Call Outs: 4 Bottom 2: 1 Twitter Followers: 3 (@amanda_swafford) Instagram Followers: 2953 (@amandaswafford) Amanda Swafford on IMDB ANTM CYCLE 3 During Cycle 3, the judges were amazed by her photos, especially the un-retouched beauty shot that she took during the third week of the competition. When she went on her go sees in Japan, she was told that she was too old by one of the designers. She participated in the finale along with winner Eva Pigford and Yaya Da Costa, but Amanda was eliminated when she and Eva were in the bottom 2. The judges had a difficult time deciding whom to send home, as all three contestants had strong CoverGirl photos, and all 3 were considered strong contenders, but in the end, it was Amanda. One of the judges, Janice Dickinson, was a dissenting voice on the judging panel, saying, “I love you!” to Swafford when she was eliminated. POST-TOP MODEL Amanda has appeared on the covers of Felt It! Stitch It! Fabulous! Magazine, Bliss for Bride Magazine, and Access Magazine, and has modeled for Levi’s Jeans, Lacy Little Knits, The Austin Chronicle, Verve Magazine, ELLEmemoir, Shutterbug Magazine, Grove Arcade, Recyclone Designs, Royal Peasantry, Serenity + Scott 2013, The Beading Butterfly, Liz White Designs/Custom Couture, Serenity + Scott Spring 2015 collection, and WEBS. Amanda has walked the runway for ELLEgirl Presents: Dare To Be You. She has also appeared in shorts such as Worst-Case Scenario (which she co-wrote) and Lullaby. Since the show, Amanda has signed with Storm Model Management in New York City and Acclaim Talent Agency. Her FMD page lists Storm Models London as her current agency. According to a close friend, her retinitis pigmentosa has caused extreme difficulty to see in low lighting, contrary rumors that she has since gone completely blind. Amanda currently works as an aesthetic/style guru for Royal Peasantry. On the show, she was married but has since separate from the man. She has a son, Eli (who is a current high school freshman), with her previous husband. She is currently in a relationship with a new man. In October 25, she came out on her facebook to say she was drugged the night before, while she was attending one of her husband’s show. Name: Yaya DaCosta Placed: 2nd Age: 34 (will turn 35 on Nov 15th) First Call Outs: 2 Bottom 2: 1 Twitter Followers: 29.8k (@yayadacosta) Instagram Followers: 172k (@yayadacosta) Yaya DaCosta on IMDB ANTM CYCLE 3 Yaya DaCosta was a contestant on Cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model, where she came in second to Eva Pigford. On the show, Yaya showed insecurity regarding her skin, as she was still experiencing breakouts past puberty. While on the show, Yaya won 5 straight challenges (The race up the flight of stairs, the Go-Sees, The Red Carpet interview, The Acting challenge, and The Tea Ceremony. On the eigth episode (“The Girl Who Is Panic-Stricken”), the models were asked to choose a hat as part of their judging test. Yaya chose the cowboy hat, which surprised everyone since Yaya was the model who was proud of her african heritage. When asked why she did not choose the African hat, she claimed that she does not want to be a cliché. She claimed that the hat was made of a very artificial, very cheap kente. During the ninth episode (“The Girls Meet Taye Diggs”), during the judging session, the girls were set a test in which they had to read a commercial and eat umeboshi. Yaya chose to spit her umeboshi almost immediately after putting it in her mouth, which the judges said came across as very disrespectful to the client (if this were to happen in the real world). POST-TOP MODEL After finishing in second place in America’s Next Top Model, where she is considered one of the most memorable contestants, DaCosta went on to a successful career. She has modeled for Target, Olay, CharmaineLouise, DJU Clothing Company, Venus Clothing, Gap, Tom Ford’s A/W 2014 Collection, Isaac Mizrahi, Kohl’s, Seven Magazine, Interview Magazine, Essence Magazine, Hollywood Life Magazine, Jewel Magazine, COED Magazine, I Style Magazine, Elle Girl Presents Dare To Be You: Wal-Mart Meets America’s Next Top Model, Marc Bouwer Fall 2005, Seda, Garnier Fructis, Lincoln Townhouse, Glamour Magazine, Glamour Magazine Italy, Radioshack, Dr. Scholl’s, Sally Beauty Supply Magazine, Vibe Magazine, Venus, Terrazine Magazine, Voice of Diversity, The New York Post, Style Rocks Fashion Show (2005), Vogue Australia, Hype Hair Magazine, Chicago Sun-Times Splash, New York Magazine, Malibu Magazine, and Sephora. In 2010, she appeared in American Vogue, Esquire, L'Officiel and on the cover of W. In addition to modeling, Yaya is also acting and has in appeared in commercials for Radioshack and Garnier Fructis. She recently appeared in the movie Take the Lead with Antonio Banderas. She has also did modeling for Target and appeared in a few rap music videos (Chingy’s Pullin’ Me Back, Jay-Z’s Roc Boys, Raphael Saadiq’s Good Man. DaCosta began acting in 2005 after having a small role in an episode of Eve where she portrayed a character named Miss Jenkins. Her television credits include Cassandra Foster on All My Children, Vanessa on Racing For Time, Nico Slater on Ugly Betty, Audrina on Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, Brooke Sullivan on Mercy, Amber on Army Wives, Holly Bennett on Body of Proof, Anita on House, Amy on Dark Horse, Princess Kemi of Nigeria on The Simpsons, and currently as April Sexton on Chicago Fire and Chicago Med. DaCosta exited the role on All My Children some time in August 2008, less than four months after joining the show, to join the cast of “The First Breeze of Summer” on Broadway. 2006 saw Yaya’s film debut in the film Take the Lead as LaRhette. She has also appeared in 2007’s Honeydripper as China Doll and in 2009’s Messenger as Monica Washington. In 2010 DaCosta had supporting roles in the films The Kids Are All Right (as Tanya) and Tron: Legacy (as Siren). In 2013 she also appeared as Carol in the film The Butler, starring Forest Whitaker and Oprah Winfrey. Other movie credits include In Time, The Shanghai Hotel, Whole Lotta Sole, Mother of George, Big Words, And So It Goes, Bolden!, and The Nice Guys. In 2015, Yaya portrayed Whitney Houston in the self titled Biopic Whitney, directed by Angela Bassett. She is currently signed to Models 1 London and Ford Models New York. On June 26, 2012, DaCosta married independent movie producer and director Joshua Bee Alafia. She gave birth to the couple's first child, a son named Sankara, in September 2013. The couple parted ways in 2014. Name: Eva Marcille Placed: 1st Age: 33 First Call Outs: 2 Bottom 2: 2 Twitter Followers: 259k (@EvaMarcille) Instagram Followers: 1.7m (@evamarcille) Eva Marcille on IMDB ANTM CYCLE 3 Eva was the winner of the third cycle of America's Next Top Model, beating fellow contestants Yaya Da Costa and Amanda Swafford. Her prizes included a CoverGirl cosmetics contract, a spread in Elle, and a modeling contract with Ford Models. During the show, Eva won 2 challenges: The Heatherette runway show and the go-sees in Japan. POST-TOP MODEL Eva has appeared on the cover of Brides Noir, Women’s Health and Fitness (May 2005), King Magazine (June 2005), IONA (November 2005), Green Magazine, Obvious Magazine, Urban Lux Magazine, Kontrol Magazine, Sheen Magazine, HypeHair Magazine, and Essence Magazine. Her other modeling credits include CoverGirl, DKNY, Samsung, Red by Marc Ecko, Jewel magazine, In Touch Weekly magazine (June 2005), King magazine (November 2005), Black Girls Rule!, Vibe Vixen, Magazine, Today’s Black Woman Magazine, Magazine, UNleashed magazine, Star Magazine, Elle, Elle Girl, ForTrayvon.org, Danskin, Active Imprints, Traci Lynn Jewelry, Koshie O Clothing, Ciroc Vodka, Phlaunt Hair, Applebottoms,Jasmine Ni'Cole Luxury Perucas, Shiekh Shoes, Lerner Catalog, UrbanSkinRx, Avon, and Rolling Out. Eva’s runway shows include the Marc Bouwer Fall 2005, Elle Girl presents Dare To Be You: Wal-Mart Meets America’s Next Top Model 2005, Gharani Strok Fall 2005, Deborah Lindquist Spring 2006, Naqada Spring 2006, 8th Annual ‘Models of Perfection’ Show 2006, and L.A. Fashion Week’s Monarchy Collection Fall 2007. Marcille has guest-starred on several series on UPN and The CW Network. Her guest-star credits include two episodes of Kevin Hill, one episode of Smallville, one episode of Everybody Hates Chris, and one episode of The Game as herself. Marcille has also appeared on Tyler Perry's House of Payne. In addition, Marcille hosted BET J's reality show My Model Looks Better Than Your Model, as well as Rip the Runway on BET. In 2005, Marcille appeared in a first-season episode of the MTV improv show Nick Cannon Presents Wild 'N Out. In 2008 she joined the cast of The Young and the Restless as a young mother named Tyra Hamilton. After a few months, her character, who was planned to be temporary was made permanent. She appeared in a June 2009 episode of the BET prank show Played by Fame, where contestants have nightmarish dates with celebrities. She also appeared on The Assistants as Alicia James. In 2010, Eva hosted the first season of the Oxygen reality series Hair Battle Spectacular. In 2011, Eva joined the cast of the tv series Let’s Stay Together. 2013 saw Eva’s appearance on the reality show Real Husbands of Hollywood. In 2014, Eva has also appeared on For the Love of Lockwood and FNL’s Model Monday. In 2015, Marcille starred as Tara on the tv series Born Again Virgin, appeared on tv mini series For the Love of Lockwood Too. In February 2016 she stars in a reality series called About The Business. Currently, she is competing on the VH1’s Scared Famous and on the tv series Hip Hop Squares. Eva’s film credits include 24 Hour Love, The Walk, Crossover, The Boys and Girls Guide to Getting Down, Premium, Note To Self, If You Really Love Me, The Fright Night Files, Fear Files, Sister Code, and I Think I Love My Wife. In 2017, Eva also appeared in Busted and Miss Me This Christmas. Furthermore, she has appeared in several music videos, including "Baby" by Angie Stone (featuring Betty Wright), 50 Cent's "I Get Money" and Jamie Foxx's "DJ Play a Love Song". She is also mentioned in Lil' Kim's song, "I Know You See Me" and Missy Elliott's "On & On".In August 2013, Marcille appeared in the video clip "J'accélère (I accelerate)" by French rapper Rohff. Eva has been signed to L.A. Models, Uber-Warning Models, and now Slamm Management - Atlanta. She started her own eyewear company, First Ave Eyewear. In July 2006, Marcille started dating Tyler Perry's House of Payne star Lance Gross. They got engaged on December 24, 2008 and split up in March 2010. She also dated rapper Flo Rida from 2010 to 2012. Since January 2013, she has been dating singer-songwriter Kevin McCall. Marcille gave birth to her first child, and McCall's second daughter; Marley Rae McCall on January 31, 2014. They ended their relationship in early 2015.
[EVERYTHING] A Recap Has No Name. S7E4: The Spoils of War. “The Blackwater BBQ”
A Recap Has No NameS7E4: The Spoils of War“The Blackwater BBQ” Ok, fine. So a recap has several names. The following recap was written by the Grizz Monday – Thursday (8/7/17 – 8/10/17). Just as a fair warning, in this recap I speculate heavily about future episodes. I review any and everything that HBO releases as promotional material or production news, I consider that fair game … the “next on”, episode images, casting news, director assignments, etc. But I have not, nor will I ever, look at these hacker leaks. Why would I want to read the f**king script for S7E4 two days before it airs. Ummm, I’ll probably just wait till Sunday? (Arya picks up the dagger and examines it carefully) why is that fun to read? It’s one of those common complaints you hear all the time, “Yea, that movie was cool, but what if they turned it into a book!?” At least with “The Fappening” it was interesting because you’re likely never going to have sex with Jennifer Lawrence, Kate Upton, Kaley Cuoco, Nick Hogan, etc. Also who is Nick Hogan? Like a celebrity chef or DJ? He’s listed in the “affected celebrity” section on The Fappening Wikipedia page. I think we’re using “celebrity” pretty loosely here. So I might not be having sex with Kate Upton or Nick Hogan, but I am going to have sex with S7E4 on Sunday, so I don’t need to see a pic of S7E4 in their underwear, like two days before it airs. Why are these hackers trying to ruin the thing I care most about? If a ruthless, tyrannical leader caught these hackers, suspended due process, and publicly executed them on PBS tomorrow, I think even the staunchest of liberals would forgive his first six months. Maybe execution is a tad harsh, at least cut off all ten of their fingers. Good luck hacking with your nose. Also if you’re one of those hackers, and you happen to be reading this, you better think twice about attacking me son. I got McAfee, and it’s like the cheap version, for $29.99 annually. So good luck with that, they’re one of the top seven personal computer protection software’s according to Ask Jeeves. Winterfell You would think after Winterfell was taken by the Greyjoys in S2, and subsequently the Boltons in S5, that they’d be a little more diligent about guarding the front gate. The Starks have only been holding Winterfell for about five episodes (five months), and it already feels way too casual, like they just hired some “temp guards" off the street, who only took the job because they were recently fired from Coldstone Creamery for smoking pot in the freezer. Yea sure, the WORLD IS ENDING just a couple hundred miles North, but we don’t want to give them full benefits. Yea, we better go with the temp guard agency. Dental is expensive. Also it was a little confusing when these soldiers were just regular dudes, and not international pop super stars, like Ed Sheeran. Why can’t the Winterfell guards be Mick Jagger and CeeLo Green? Then I’d be invested. The scene with Arya and Sansa was terrific. And it means more than like Sansa & Bran’s reunion, or Sansa & Jon’s reunion. Sansa never really hung with those dudes in S1. But Sansa and Arya were constantly at odds, and fought like sisters throughout the entire first season. There’s an actual tangible relationship and shared history to mine emotion from here. Supposedly this scene in the crypts took over five hours to capture, because they kept cracking each other up. See Maisie Williams and Sophie Turner are besties in real life, and they couldn’t stay serious around each other. Which is kinda cute for us, I guess? But for the guy holding the boom mic over their heads, that’s a long afternoon. In the back of his head he’s thinking
“Are these bitches serious? I skipped lunch, and there’s cake upstairs! It’s one of the Sand Snakes birthdays or something. Who cares? It’s Red Velvet! Great … I’m pretty sure the microphone just picked up my stomach rumbling. Maybe no one noticed? I hate these girls.”
The Arya and Brienne sparring scene is fun. There’s no other way to describe it. When Arya is standing next to Brienne the height difference is so staggering! The only pairing on this show with a more dramatic disparity is Jon and Sansa. I bet Kit Harrington looks forward to his scenes with Peter Dinklage, because it’s the time he doesn’t have to act on top of a bucket or a phonebook. I like how Brienne is practicing with a blunted sword, and Arya is practicing with a Valyrian steel blade that can cut through bone.
“Yeaaaa, maybe don’t swing that so close to my neck next time … if you were two inches closer I’d look like your mom”.
It’s pretty clear that the show has run out of things for Littlefinger to do. He peaked around the end of S4, and it’s gone precipitously downhill from there. He’s been reduced to this glorified babysittecreepy uncle figure to the Stark children. Trying to make out with em, and give em knives. What your uncle didn’t give you knives? Also, do victims of attempted murder want their assailant’s weapon for a souvenir!? Is that a thing!? Does Idris Elba want a copy of The Dark Tower on blu-ray after they tried to assassinate his career with The Dark Tower? If the Grizz knows one thing about the remainder of S7, it’s this; Littlefinger is about the deadest character on this show. There are fu*ing zombies (wigts) traveling from Hardome to Eastwatch that have more of a pulse than Littlefinger at this point. There is *zero chance of him surviving S7. He poisoned Jon Arryn and started the war, he sold out Ned to Cersei in S1, and now Neds son who can see everything that’s ever happened just arrived in Winterfell. Not to mention his sister, who’s a world class assassin. The three Stark kids are totally taking him out. Why they’re saving it for E6 or E7 is beyond me, maybe they feel that Littlefinger is “too big” of a character to die before the end of S7. But it’s totally coming. It also appears that we’re also going to get some sort of reveal with chekhov’s assassins blade, because they’ve shown it, and talked about it, way too many times not to address. My best guess? For the show, Cersei ordered the assassination attempt. Then Arya will use that dagger to kill her. In the books, it’s heavily alluded that Joffrey bought the cutthroat. What an interesting profession medieval cutthroat must have been. Filling out a resume and going on job interviews,
“It says here that you ripped seven throats last year!? Wow, very impressive.”
Meera is going home to Greywater Watch, the southernmost castle in the North. So is she gone forever? Or are they introducing Howland Reed? It’s probably too late to introduce Howland Reed at this point. He was Ned’s friend in the “Tower of Joy” flashback that stabs Ser Arthur Dayne in the back/throat. He’s like Neds second best friend (after Robert Baratheon), and the only living person that would have knowledge of Jon’s parentage. But there’s no reason to really introduce him at this point, because Jon has a brothecousin that’s a human computer, Apple iBran. Kings Landing Tycho Nestoris, the Iron Banker, keeps comparing Cersei to Tywin, come on man. That’s like comparing Cersei to Drogon, they’re not even the same species. Tywin is the best military and political mind we’ve seen on this show. Cersei is a mediocre player, at best. She’s just some wealthy broad that’s drunk on power … and on wine. It’s like she’s starring in her own “Real Housewives of Kings Landing”, but she’s already killed all of the other housewives. So it’s just her catching a wine buzz and trying on new power dresses all episode. It was an interesting development that Qyburn is looking to hire the Golden Company. Books readers are pretty familiar with the Golden Company; they serve a more important function in the books. The TV show has mentioned them twice, both in S4. Jorah used to work for the Golden Company. The Golden Company is one of the largest and best trained sellsword companies in Essos. They’re comprised of 10,000 men: 1,000 horse (knights), 1,000 archers, and 8,000 infantry, along with a few war elephants for flash. They’ve famously never broken a contract (sellswords are notoriously fickle). And they were formed by Targaryen exiles, after the Blackfyre Rebellion, about 110 years ago. To this day the majority of their forces are either Westerosi exiles, or their sons. If you get kicked out of Westeros, it’s your home away from home. Heck it’s better than “taking the black”, which sounds like a Lexington Steel movie. But it’s a phrase that means joining the Nights Watch. If you commit a serious crime in Westeros: you rot in a dungeon, take the black, or flee to Essos, likely to join the Golden Company. Most people go that route. The Lannisters are so depleted, and stretched so thin, that hiring the Golden Company makes a lot of sense. However I don’t think the Iron Bank is going to fund Cersei (after the events of this episode). Cersei winning doesn’t seem like a “likely outcome” at this point. So I predict that Tycho Nestoris will try to leave Kings Landing with his gold (The Iron Banks debt payment), and he’ll politely decline Cersei’s loan application before he leaves. This in turn will cause Cersei to kill him; she’ll keep the gold for herself, to try and buy the Golden Company directly. Personally I don’t see the Golden Company making it to Kings Landing. I think it was a nod/shout-out to book fans, nothing more. I think Cersei is going to be stuck in the Red Keep, in a throne room littered with gold, quickly losing her mind, as her people are starving and revolting. If the show introduces War Elephants, after they’ve dropped the ball on Direwolves since S2, the Grizz will be writing David & Dan a stern letter. Dragonstone Jon is penetrating the damp depths of his aunt’s warm cavernous walls. Seriously though, that’s his f#cking aunt … possibly, quite literally, his f#cking aunt. What, you’ve never eye f#cked your aunt before!? Well this is Westeros, man, so try to be respectful of other people’s fake cultures, ok!? There was definitely a female family member that GRRM was attracted to, right? There are too many incidences in this story. I’ve actually been thoroughly impressed with how organic their relationship feels. Kit and Emilia have good chemistry, and the writers have stayed true to their characters. They’re both independent and stubborn as ever. I was worried that they’d fall for each other on the first meeting, and it’d be all cheesy. I should have known better. David & Dan got our backs; they’re not doing that troupe-y garbage. The Djwadi musical cue when they entered the cave was on point. But saying a Djwadi musical cue is on point, is like saying the Grizz writes a good recap. It’s just expected. The cave, and the drawings, made me feel like we were on the set of LOST. I half expected to see 4-8-15-16-23-42 written on the wall somewhere. I can’t crack the joke that Jon loves taking chicks to caves, because every single pod and recap has already done that. I can’t crack the joke that Jon wrote those drawings on the wall like an hour before he gave Dany the cave tour, because every single pod and recap has already done that. FML, the downside of “dropping” these on Fridays huh? Theon is back. Ugh. WHO CARES!?!? He’s terrible. Good actor, but there’s no story left for that character. It’s like the writers are trying to squeeze juice out of a rock, just because they’re really good friends with Alfie Allen (Theon). He’s got a double-secret rescue mission to sneak into Kings Landing and free Yara against all odds! That’s sounds like fun … if you’re one of the eleven year olds from Stranger Things. But this is a show for grownups. And Yara doesn’t matter. And Theon doesn’t matter. They (personally) have like 1-2 ships left, they’re not even lords … they’re boat owners. Like a singular boat. And their claim to the Salt Throne (by far the worst kingdom), is tepid at best. They’re worthless. The Roseroad – Field of Fire #2 – The Loot Train Attack Oh man. Where to start? I’m going to jump around a lot. So this is the Lannister & Tarly army that just sacked Highgarden and killed my girl Olenna Tyrell. The Roseroad is the road that connects Highgarden (and Oldtown) to Kings Landing. It’s crucial for commerce in the realm, and for Kings Landing to receive food. The battle itself takes place where the Roseroad meets Blackwater Rush, a river that connects to Blackwater Bay. Thanks for the fuggin geography lesson Grizz. Long story long, they’re about 90% of the way back to the capital (from Highgarden) when they get jumped. We learn from Randyll Tarly that they conveniently sent the gold ahead, and it’s safely in Kings Landing. So the f#ck what? Unless Cersei can use that gold to buy a dragon at the local dragon store, she’s done. It’s over. That’s all she wrote. And Jaime knows this. That’s why he threw up the Hail Mary and charged Dany (AND A DRAGON) with a spear. You can’t bring a spear to a DRAGONFIRE fight!? You can see him run the numbers in his head before he charges. He knows there’s only about a 1% chance that it’s actually going to work (killing Dany). But Jaime also knows they’re never going to get that close to her again. And if he takes Dany out, then the war is over. This is an absolutely breath taking scene. Ash and fire everywhere, Jaime charging at her from the shallow shoreline of Blackwater Rush, trying to eliminate the “last” Targaryen, finishing the job he started 23ish years ago when he stabbed her father in the back. In a twisted sort of irony, he put down the Mad King 23 (1) years ago to prevent thousands from being burned alive. As a result of that action, Cersei has burned thousands at the Sept of Baelor, and now Dany has burned thousands of Jaime’s own men on the Roseroad. If he wouldn’t have killed the Mad King, dragons never would have been born, and Cersei never would have become Queen (more than likely, marriage alliances are always possible). There’s this sad nihilistic fate (intertwined with fire) he can’t escape, no matter what he does. So Jaime is 1/2 when it comes to stabbing unsuspecting Caucasian victims to death … Orenthal James Simpson, he is not. The Juice woulda got her. He wouldn’t have even needed a horse back in his prime. (1) I got 23 years because S1 starts 18 years after Roberts Rebellion. The show timeline is a little different than the books. And I’m allowing about 1 month of “time passage” per episode (on average) … we’re currently on episode 64 … that’s 5 years and 4 months. Yea, 23 years has to be about perfect (for the show). Just don’t f#cking question the Grizz alright!?!? Also when you look at it through that prism, about one month of time passage per episode, it helps explains some of the convenient traveling in S6 & S7. Also the dragons have to be AT LEAST four years old. They’re the size of buses. Some people were actually worried that Jaime died. Bitch please. Jaime has a better chance of being alive this Sunday than you do. You could get hit by lightening, or get shot at an Amy Schumer movie (perhaps an act of mercy), or even killed by a loved one (60% of victims know their murderer). But Jaime is getting pulled out of that water. No doubt about it. Jaime could very well die this season, but he’s not dying before the S7 finale. And if you thought this week had “fire”, check out some of the dialogue opportunities next week … Jaime & Daenerys … Jaime & Tyrion … Bronn & Tyrion. I predict that the next episode will start with both Bronn and Jaime in chains. But Jaime is an incredibly valuable hostage, and Bronn is decidedly not. Yea yea yea, you like Bronn. I get it. The Grizz likes Bronn. But I think he’s toast next week. Literally, I think Dany is going to burn him alive for shooting Drogon, and his two best friends, Tyrion and Jaime, are going to have to watch in horror, powerless to do anything about it. We see several horses impaled by spears, thanks Noah Syndergaard! He’s “Spear Chucker #3”. If you blinked, you missed him. If you don’t watch baseball, you missed him. Alright, everyone missed him. His parents missed him.
“Yea honey, we were watching … are you sure you were in Game of Thrones!? Ok. Ok. I believe you.”
So a couple horses were impaled by spears, Bronn and Jaime’s horses were engulfed by dragon flame, and a Dothraki cuts off Bronn’s horses leg. HBO actually saved some money on these horse deaths by borrowing deleted scenes from LUCK. If you’re one of the three people that watched LUCK, or followed HBO production news in 2011-2012, you’re probably laughing. Ohhhh, now I get it! That’s why they had that throwaway Ed Sheeran scene in E1. To remind everyone that some of the Lannister soldiers are decent people, who are merely fighting other people’s wars. And that Lannister soldiers aren’t just Westerosi “Storm Troopers”. I didn’t need the writers to hold my hand in order to make that connection, but thanks!? The Djwadi score when Drogon lights up that first set of Lannister men is unmistakably a soundtrack meant to convey “horror” and “villainy”. Even though this action scene is spectacular, one of the best the show has done, we’re supposed to feel slightly uncomfortable about this Dany win. She just torched like 5,000 dudes because she wants a chair. She’s essentially a sexy-white-female tyrannical leader on the back of that dragon/nuclear weapon. The show isn’t even pretending otherwise anymore. As I’m typing this, it’s Thursday at 9:15pm, and I’ve watched this scene 11 times? I think. Even on the 11th viewing I got goosebumps when Drogon first appears over the hill and leads his Dothraki horde into battle. DUDE. Listen. Drogon is named after Khal Drogo, that’s the embodiment of Khal Drago right there. The Grizz doesn’t believe in like reincarnation or anything. But their personalities are a perfect match. I also love love love the shot when Drogon is peacefully gliding above Blackwater Rush, causing the water to ripple underneath. Right in the middle of this devastating battle Dany & Drogon are just casually taking a 15 second break to enjoy the sights and scenery of the Crownlands before they go back to burning everything in their path; it shows us just how easy this is for them. And then there’s the shot when Drogon smashes the burnt scorpion with his tail, demonstrating intelligence. It’s all so great. Why did Dany & Drogon specifically target the supply lines? You’d think that food would come in handy when it’s time to feed a 100,000 strong Dothraki horde, all tired from murdering and raping. Do you know how many calories are expend when you get on top of a moving horse at full speed, and then do a leaping dismount to slash someone’s throat? They need to replenish. And not just empty calories from dead horse meat … which the Dothraki actually eat. When Dickon saves Jaime’s life they give each other this look like they’re long lost lovers, like they’re Jack and Rose after getting temporarily separated on the Titanic. Maybe Jaime has been calling him by the wrong name to flirt with him? Maybe the charred bodies surrounding them isn’t the only thing flaming here? The worst thing about this episode is when we see dozens of Lannister soliders instantly turned to ash by dragon fire, and then a mere two seconds later the Dothraki are jumping through the same flames like it’s no big deal. It’s DRAGON FIRE. Those horses would instantly be melted into Elmer’s. I have to admit, when they first showed Tyrion watching the battle from a nearby hill, I kinda rolled my eyes. Then Peter Dinklage does what Peter Dinklage does, and acts the piss out of it. The look of sadness and shame on his face is perfect, when he sees his fellow countrymen from the Westerlands get their throats cut and/or lit on fire, it clearly messes with him. It’s also fantastic when he’s broadcasting the audiences thoughts when Jaime is charging Dany,
“Flee you fu**ing idiot”.
It’s a good reminder that he still has feelings for his brother. Some people on the internet were complaining that everyone survived this battle … Jaime, Bronn, Dany, Drogon, even Dickon and Randyll. They’re saying that there should be “consequences” for this kind of carnage … SHUT THE EF UP. Normally when we get these spectacles it comes with a price tag in the form of one of our favorite characters dying. I’m happy everyone is still around next week. Even if some of the Jaime & Bronn “dragon flame dodges” were almost comically convenient. I suppose we should name this battle. All the other great battles have cool names, like “Battle of the Bastards”. Right now HBO is calling this clip “The Loot Train Attack”, woof. How fuggin lame is that!? We can do better … The Blackwater BBQ The Roseroad Roast The Crownlands Campfire The Wagon Holocaust Backdraft Please add your own names for this battle. Speaking of battles with cool names, it would be appropriate to briefly touch on the “Field of Fire”. Since one of GRRMs biggest themes is history repeating itself. A little over 300 years ago, Daenerys’s ancestor Aegon the Conqueror, was about a year into his campaign to conquer the Seven Kingdoms, when the King of the Reach, Mern XI Gardener, and the King of the Rock, Loren Lannister, joined forces to defeat the Targaryens. Together they commanded a host of 55,000 troops. Aegon and his two sister wives only had 11,000 men, and three dragons. The battle had some clever maneuvering by the Targaryens, but the important thing to note is that this was the first and last time that Aegon unleashed all three dragons in battle … Balerion (S7E2 cameo), Meraxes, and Vhagar. They caught a majority of Lannister & Gardener troops marching through a dry field, and the dragons lit the field on fire, on all four sides. There was nowhere to run. Approximately 5,000 men were burned to death, another 10,000 were left horribly burned & disfigured, and King Gardener (of the Reach) and all of his heirs perished in the fire. Everyone else immediately surrendered. King Loren Lannister survived and bent the knee. On the flip side, the Targaryens lost less than 100 men. News of this victory spread quickly throughout the remaining kingdoms, and everyone else pretty much caved (except Dorne, cause they’re crazy like that). Like the King in the North, Torrhen Stark. Rather than making his northern army suffer a similar fate, he just bent the knee, and become Warden/Lord of the North. That’s why I think the battle we just watched, will have further reaching implications than what we’ve just witnessed on screen. Dany could legitimately be done fighting in Westeros. Everyone in Westeros is currently talking about this battle, The Wagon Holocaust. No one is going to try and stop her now. She defeated two of the greatest commanders in Westeros, Randyll Tarly and Jaime Lannister, with one fuggin dragon. She has three of them at her disposal. It’s over, psychologically. Anyone left opposing her is essentially on a suicide mission. Cersei basically has one city, Kings Landing, that’s it. And now she can’t feed it. Season 8 Directors When I first saw that this episode was directed by GoT newcomer Matt Shakman, who’s most famous for directing 44 episodes of “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia”, and that he only got 50 minutes out of the script, I was skeptical at best. But it’s a fantastic episode, probably the best of the season (one could make an argument for E3), and a Top 15 episode in the show. I’m not quite willing to anoint it “Top 10” yet, because of recency bias, even though it probably is. Anyways, Mr. Shakman has been doing some interviews this week and he revealed that he will not be back for S8. The knee jerk reaction is to be disappointed, again because of recency bias. But Thrones has a TON of great directors in their arsenal. So for the remainder of this segment I wanted to put together a “S8 dream team” of directors for the final six episodes. First off, I hope six episodes = six directors, this would lend credibility to the rumor that S8 episodes will be close to “feature length”.
Miguel Sapochnik: S5E7 “The Gift”, S5E8 “Hardhome”, S6E9 “Battle of the Bastards”, and S6E10 “The Winds of Winter” … he should be given the series finale.
Alex Graves: S3E4 “And Now His Watch Is Ended”, S3E6 “The Climb”, S4E2 “The Lion and the Rose”, S4E3 “Breaker of Chains”, S4E8 “The Mountain and the Viper”, and S4E10 “The Children” … he nailed the most crucial episodes in what’s arguably the shows best season (S4).
David Nutter: S2E6 “The Old Gods and the New”, S2E7 “A Man Without Honor”, S3E9 “The Rains of Castamere”, S3E10 “Mhysa”, S5E9 “The Dance of Dragons, and S5E10 “Mothers Mercy” … he’ll be back for sure. The DD’s love him. He’s got a directing Emmy (Mothers Mercy). He was supposed to be back for S7 but had a medical issue. He mentored Matt Shakman.
Alan Taylor: S1E9 “Baelor”, S1E10 “Fire and Blood”, S2E1 “The North Remembers”, S2E2 “The Night Lands”, S2E8 “The Prince of Winterfell”, S2E10 “Valar Morghulis”, and now S7E6 “TBA” … One of the original Thrones directors, he got called up to the big leagues to do movies (Terminator, Thor), and now Thrones is bigger than the movies, so he’s back. We haven’t seen S7E6 yet, but rumors are that it’s spectacular. He helped establish the “visual language” of this show. He should be back. – Those are the four MUST HAVES –
Neil Marshall: S2E9 “Blackwater”, S4E9 “The Watchers on the Wall” … it’d be fun. He’s directed two bottleneck battle episodes. Back when the show was on a smaller budget. Give him like the mid-S8 “battle episode”, and let him play around the shows substantially bigger budget.
You could make a case for several different directors here. Right now I’d lean towards LOST’s Jack Bender, who did S6E5 “The Door” and S6E6 “Blood of My Blood”. He gets the mystical stuff. The reveal that the Children created the first White Walker, was handled really well. BUT. Let’s not rule out Jeremy Podeswa, who got the S7 premiere, and the S7 finale. He’s probably more likely. I think they really liked the way he handled Jon Snow’s resurrection. I’d like to see the S7 finale before rendering judgment on this final director spot.
S7E5 “Eastwatch” Speculation Well I’ve already speculated plenty throughout the recap. But I have a broad thing to add. I don’t think people should go into this episode with their hopes set SKY HIGH. I think the title is a little misleading. I don’t think there is going to be another big battle scene. Matt Shakman spent six months planning the battle that ended S7E4. Matt is also directing S7E5. I find it highly unlikely that they’d put two big battles on his plate. Also, as I mentioned, Alan Taylor is directing S7E6 … he only got one episode this season, while the other three directors all got two episodes. Why do you think that is? The Grizz would speculate that Alan has S7’s BIG BATTLE. Also, that’s the penultimate episode. The penultimate episode has traditionally been the biggest episode each season for oh, I don’t know, about six straight seasons (one could certainly argue that the S6 finale was more eventful than the penultimate sode … but you catch my drift). I think towards the beginning of the episode we’ll check in on Tormund with his Wilding crew, perhaps meeting the Hound and his Brotherhood Without Banners crew, at Eastwatch. Then we’ll see The Night King approaching Eastwatch. Then Jon will get a raven from Bran that something is about to go down at Eastwatch. Jon leaves Dragonstone after he smooches Dany. The episode ends with The Night King arriving at Eastwatch, the same time Jon’s boat is docking at Eastwatch with the dragonglass weapons, (And Scene), another cliffhanger. Unless Jon fly’s to Eastwatch!?!? Thanks for Reading!
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